Til the End
by I Am Awkward
Summary: He could've had her but he was stupid. He let her slip away from his grasp. he should've cherished her but he didn't. What a fool he was. SPECIAL DEDICATION OFFER AT END OF STORY! Read please and review of course :D


**Hey you guyss! Help me yes? Okai. Thought so. Jk. Anyway, PLEASE READ TO THE END OF THE PAGE. I don't care if you review or not but please read to the end and do what the end says if you want a one/two-shot dedication. Thass wussup. Now enjoy please :D**

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><p>He was stupid. He was stupid and he knew it. He had such a long time to grasp her and keep her in his arms, but being the stupid idiot he was, he didn't. He let her slip away. What a fool he was.<p>

Mikan, a bright, sweet, wonderful person, was a stalker. Why? She stalked him. Why? Because she loved him. She loved him for 3 years. She followed him, she waited and smiled for him and took his vicious comments that were always meant for her to go away but she never did. She wanted to be by his side through thick and thin and he never noticed how important she was to him until she left. She was always there standing by him waiting to be of aid. She was always there to help him yet he always pushed her away.

He hated how she was always there. He hated how she always smiled even when he said things to make her go away. He hated how she always came back every time. Yet he never realized he loved her, til the end. What a fool.

"Natsume!" Mikan said cheerfully on a daily routine. She always knew where he would be. Everyday, the Sakura tree at 3. He hated that she knew.

"What the fuck," Natsume cursed at her," Didn't I tell you stay away?" He never looked up at her. He knew she was still smiling. He wanted to wipe that damned smile off her cheerful face.

"Well, I wanted to see you silly," Mikan giggled sweetly. To him though, it was annoying a hell. From the corner of his eyes he could see her rock back and forth happily like there was no care in the world. Her slim pale arms behind her back, hiding the cloth around her wrists, smiling.

"How many fucking times do I have to tell you to go away you fucking stalker. Man, you always follow me around and it's so annoying. What does it take for you to go away," he said looking up with his dazzling crimson orbs.

"You can't make me go away," Mikan said still smiling. "Because I love you."

Natsume rolled his eyes annoyingly. "And I hate you." Truth be told that was the first time he told her that.

"Really?" Mikan asked her voice slightly wavering but left unnoticed by him. "Ah I see. Well bye then." Mikan said running away. Yet Natsume still didn't do anything because he knew she'd come back. Like always.

She knew he never favored her but still, he never said such mean words to her. Usually it was always ,'Go away' or 'Get lost'. Yet today was different. He actually said he hated her. He hated her. She couldn't get those words out of her head. He actually said it.

Slowly, she walked to Hotaru's room.

**Knock Knock**

"Who is it?" she heard Hotaru's cold voice ask.

"Mikan," Mikan said. After some silence, she knew that was Hotaru's answer. It was an obvious yes. She let herself in and came face to face with Hotaru. Hotaru looked at her and saw hurt, sadness, regret in Mikan's hazel eyes.

"What happened today?" Hotaru asked SLIGHTLY worried. That's when Mikan broke down into sobs.

"He said it," Mikan sobbed," He said he hated me." Tears streamed off her face controllably. He shoulders shook as she let out loud sobs. Hotaru look at her best friend. Everyday Mikan would come to her lab after three and break down crying. It's been like this for THREE years and she couldn't take it anymore.

"Mikan," Hotaru said kneeling and patting her back, voice till emotionless," Give up on him. He's no good for you. He makes you cry everyday. EVERYDAY." Her voice rose a bit. Mikan looked at her with shocked eyes.

"I can't do that," Mikan said with alarm in her voice," I can't Hotaru." Hotaru now looked at her sorrowfully.

"But he makes you cry everyday, never once has he tried to make you smile. He's never been by you. If so name one. Name one Mikan." Hotaru said sternly. Mikan looked up and acted like she tried to count.

"Once," she whispered. Hotaru smiled somewhat smugly.

"How many? Only once? In three years? That's pathetic." Mikan looked at Hotaru fearfully. She trembled slightly.

"Am I, Hotaru? Am I pathetic?" Mikan trembled.

"You are," Hotaru's words spit out of her mouth like venom. She had hidden fury for that Hyuuga boy for doing this to Mikan and somehow it was releasing on Mikan," You are so pathetic to give so many tears to one guy. And while you cry, he feels nothing. Always seeing you like this, always acting like this, does it make you happy? Does it make you happy crying over somewhat that claims they hate you?" Hotaru said harshly. Mikan trembled and looked at Hotaru, tears running wildly. She let out another quick sob and ran out of the room. Hotaru let our a sigh.

"I went to far, baka," she said hitting herself lightly on the head.

Was it really right to give up? To give on someone whose she loved for three years? Mikan sat on her bed and slowly unwrapped the cloth on her wrists. There laid over 30 scars neatly slashed across her wrist. Some fresh and some old. The scars were uncountable. Mikan took the razor that laid in her nightstand drawer and slowly brought it across her wrists. Fresh blood streamed down her hands.

She did this, cut herself. Every time she was hurt, which was everyday. So everyday, a knew slash was added. She would watch the blood slowly slide down her arm while he tears fell silently, mixing in with the blood. Was she really so pathetic? Was it so right to give up so easily? She always thought no, but now, nothing seemed right.

Mikan collapsed on her bed as she fainted once again from dizziness of the loss blood. It'll stop eventually she knew. So she slept, with blood and tears covering her arms. And once again she'd have to wake up to clean up. Again.

**Class…**

"Students!" Narumi yelled over his over noisy class," We have a new student!" Once those words came out of his mouth, the class went quiet. In the corner was Natsume and Ruka not paying attention to anything. Mikan never made it on time to class because she'd have to wake up, stumble from dizziness, take a shower to clean up the blood, freshly bandage herself, clean the sheets, try to fix up herself so no one knew what she did, and rush out of her room to class. Everyday she was like this.

In the classroom, Narumi was smiling gleefully. "Please welcome your new classmate, Kei Kashimoto." In walked in a boy with dirty blond hair and shocking red eyes. Blood colored eyes. His face was smiling charmingly and as he faced the class, the girls let out a dreamy sigh. He was handsome indeed, as handsome as Natsume. Right when he was about to introduce himself, the door slammed revealing the beautiful brunette.

"Gomen ne!" Mikan said while straitening herself, which ended up letting her look into Kei's beautiful eyes. As she stared into his eyes, she was reminded of the blood she shed every single night.

Narumi coughed which brought her back to her attention. She looked away from his eyes and looked at Narumi who nudged her to go to her seat. She whispered one last 'Gomen ne' and walked there. When she sat she trembled slightly putting her hands on her lap touching her wrists and looking down.

Natsume, expecting a loud obnoxious good morning from Mikan, never got one. He looked at the corner of his eyes and saw her tremble. He wanted to be curious but then she would end up bothering again. He did not want that. **(What a jerk)**

Kei cleared his throat and said in a voice that made you melt," My name is Kei Kashimoto and I am 17 years old. My alice is water," he looked at the girls that he knew were expecting for him to say one thing,"Yes, I'm single," he whispered hoping the girls didn't hear but sadly they did. They let earsplitting screams that were full of joy. He sighed regretfully.

"Your partner is….everyone has a partner. Um, I guess one of you guys can have two partners," he scanned around the room avoiding the desperate raised hands," Mikan. How about you?" He looked at Mikan who was still looking down trembling slightly. Kei slightly tilted his head taking notice of this. "Mikan?" Narumi sand in a sing-song voice," MIKAN!" He yelled.

Mikan jerked her head up at the sudden call of her name. "Hai sensei?"

"Would you be Kei's partner?" Narumi asked smiling. Mikan's eyes traveled to Kei's once she began shaking. Her voice trembling she let out a shaky smile and nodded her head. "Okay then, go sit on that empty seat by her please!" Kei nodded and walked slowly and sat down by her and looked at the beautiful brunette.

He sat and stared at the girl noting that she had silky brown hair, clear pale skin, a slim body, and beautiful hazel eyes that showed fear and sadness? Was she scared of him or something? Then looked at him and smiled, everything in her eyes had disappeared. She smiled a bright smiled that nearly melted his heart. Was it love at first sight for him? His heart thumped painfully against his chest it was unbearable.

"Nice to meet you, my name is Mikan Sakura. Please call me Mikan," Mikan said smiling a charming smile. She held out her hand and he accepted while still looking at her. He felt her hand slightly tremble in his.

"Umm…who's this other partner?" Kei asked uncertainly. Mikan looked at him for a second then looked to the other side of her showing a raven hair lad with a manga book on top of his face. "Nice to meet you," Kei smiled toward the guy. Slowly Natsume's manga slid off of his face to reveal his sharply sexy features.

"Hn," was all Natsume said. Kei looked at Natsume nervously and flickered his gaze to Mikan and noticed how Mikan was staring at him so longingly. He stared at her for a while and then suddenly felt his heart thump painfully in his chest. What the hell was with his heart today he couldn't help but think. So he brushed off the uneasy thump of his heart and leaned toward Mikan.

He whispered quietly," Is he always like that?" Mikan looked at him suddenly surprised, smiled, and nodded. He looked into her eyes and noticed sad emotions drifting through yet she was still smiling. In his head, he thought,' WHAT THE HELL DID THIS BASTARD DO TO HER?' His thought came into his head and he wondered why he thought such a thing. I mean, he didn't even know her that much. He just knew he was beautiful and sweet and totally his type. No biggie.

After class ended, Mikan showed him around campus until three o'clock.

"Would you excuse me today?" Mikan said hopefully. Kei looked at her and smiled.

"Of course! See you tomorrow ne?" Kei asked cheerfully. He saw Mikan smile her radiant smile and he blushed. While talking to her, he knew she was one of a kind. She was sweet, thoughtful, smart, cute, childish, and dense, but always cheerful and caring. She was…perfect. Too perfect. Even a girl has to have a flaw. While thinking, he looked down at the floor and his eyes somewhat drifted to her wrists. There, he noticed the cloth around her wrists.

He took her hand in his and slid his hand to her wrist. He touched it lightly and Mikan couldn't help but flinch. There was pain there because of her scars. Inside she panicked and wonder if he found out something.

"These are cute," Kei said looking at her with a bright smile, "Very cute." Suddenly he lifted her wrist to his lips and kissed them. Then he looked up, smiled, waved, and ran. He just left Mikan there dumbstruck and blushing furiously.

**At the Sakura Tree with Natsume….**

Natsume waited and waited and waited for that annoying girl that shows up everyday to show up. He knew why she was late of course. It was because of that new student, Kairi…Kiri…Kei. Yeah Kei.

That guy, there was something about him. Something about him was gonna change something around there and he knew it. Suddenly, he heard crushing of the feet and he knew who that was. Mikan had arrived. He looked up at her and was surprised to find her walking right past him with a dazed look on her face and a scarlet blush spread across her face.

He thought of reasons that the girl that bothered him everyday on this time for three years just walked past him. Not just normally, but with a blush on her face. A freaking blush on her face! Then it struck him, the new kid. She was with him the whole time so he must've don't something and for some reason it bothered him. He could feel something in him boiling up and he felt somewhat pissed off.

He felt so pissed off that he suddenly blurted out," What a flirt." He looked at Mikan who stopped in her tracks.

"What?" Mikan said surprised as she turned to look at him.

"You were hanging around me like a fly for three years and suddenly you find another guys and switch. What a slut you are," Natsume said indifferently. Inside of his head, he wondered why he said that.

"I'm a…slut?" Mikan said slightly confused, letting what he said soak into her head. She looked down, her bangs covering her eyes, silent. Well, that was until she looked at him with pissed eyes. "I'm a slut?" she yelled at him. He looked at her surprised at her outrage," I found another guy. Sure! What if I did? I'm sick of this! I'm sick of hanging around you and you never noticing my feelings. You never cared about me, why the hell did I fall for you. I suffered so much because I like you!" She screamed her tears sliding wildly down her cheeks.

"I never ask you too," Natsume mumbled.

"Yeah? Well I shouldn't have because you're a heartless bastard that I spent three years of my life liking. What the hell for? Because you helped my when I almost fell once. I am such an idiot for liking a guy like you. I bet you're glad I'm never gonna be coming near you again!" Mikan finished.

"Thank God!" Natsume said," I never asked a fucking annoying bitch like you to like me. You did it on your own will so don't come screaming at me for you spending three fucking years on like me. I hope you stay far away from me! I hate you!"

Mikan's tears slid down more and silence engulfed them. "Oh, I will. Don't worry." With that she walked away crying silently. Unknown to them, two people heard their argument. One was Hotaru, while the other was Kei. He stood their dazed. She like him? She liked him and he didn't even notice a girl like her? That bastard.

He almost hid out of his hiding spot to go beat up the Hyuuga guy but didn't have the chance for Hotaru had stepped out.

"You're stupid, Hyuuga. Not in your life will there ever be another girl like Mikan. And truth be told, I'm happy she ended this thing. It annoyed the hell out of me how she came to me crying everyday after you would tell her to go away. Everyday for three years. Thanks god she ended it and I hope that that Kei dude does take her away because she's too good for you Hyuuga. She is."

With that, Hotaru ended her speech and left. That left Kei. Then suddenly Mikan popped up in his head. She was crying…and there was no one to comfort her. He must go!

Kei ran around campus looking for Mikan and couldn't find her. 'Where is she?' he couldn't help wonder. Suddenly, Hotaru's voice popped out and said," She's in her room you dip-shit."

With those wise words, he ran toward Mikan's room. There he heard sobbing and slowly twisted the doorknob. Happily, it wasn't locked. As he opened it, he was horrified what he saw. There, was Mikan on the ground, with the razor in her hand mindlessly slashing her wrist. Blood was everywhere and Kei looked horrified. He stared until Mikan noticed him. She looked at him with her swelled up eyes and muttered," Shit," before passing out.

Kei looked at her and then rage filled his face. That stupid Hyuuga dude did this. He caused this. Quickly, she ran up to her body and picked it up. Then he ran to the hospital wing. Once there, she was rushed into the emergency room seeing her state.

**1 day later…**

Mikan was still in the hospital, lying on the hospital bed unconscious. The doctors said she could've died from the amount of blood lost. Luckily, she didn't though. Thank God.

In the room was Hotaru, sobbing painfully, mad at herself that she never noticed such a thing. How could she never notice her friend was so pained by Hyuuga that she would go this far. What kind of best friend was she? She glanced over at Kei who was staring at Mikan's pale figure.

"Thank you," Hotaru said sincerely," She could've died if you weren't there. Thank you." She sobbed into her hands scared.

"Don't worry," he whispered," Bug I have a question." Hotaru looked up at him expectantly. "Would if be okay if I had Mikan?" Hotaru stared at him for a while and then nodded.

"I wouldn't want any other person," Hotaru said slightly smiling at him. Kei smiled pack a tired smile.

At 8, Hotaru took her leave and Kei stayed behind. Once she left, he took a seat on the side of the bed staring at her. He slowly caressed her pale face and took her hand. He sat there whispering until he slept," I love you, please be okay."

At 10, Kei woke up and checked to see if Mikan was awake but she wasn't. He sighed sadly.

"Please don't die, I love you. I don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone. I'm pretty sure I haven't so please be the one and only person I will ever feel this way about. Please. I don't know if I can replace Hyuuga in your heart but at least give me a chance. I want to be by your side. I don't want you to hurt yourself. Not for someone like him. I don't care about anything but please give me chance Mikan. Wake up for me." Tears slid down his face as he cried softly.

Suddenly, he felt Mikan squeeze his hand. "I can't promise you I can love you fully, but I'm willing to try if you are," Mikan whispered hoarsely.

Kei looked her and smiled joyfully. "Yes, of course!" Then he hugged her and looked into her eyes. "Can…can I kiss you?" He looked so hopefully, she nodded. As he pressed his warm lips on her cold, they both felt sparks.

Kei was happy, of course, and Mikan was shocked. She didn't know what this feeling was because she never once felt anything like this before. It was…amazing. He backed away slowly and smiled. "Let's try this."

Months after her discharge, Mikan and Kei started dating. They'd act like a couple and basically were. They felt so real with each other. At first, when Mikan past Natsume in the hallways, she'd almost always cried, but never did because Kei was there to support her. Sooner or later, she began to stop and smile freely even when he passed.

She couldn't help but love him. At first she was unsure, but everything felt so right. It did. The way they acted around each other was so natural, when they occasionally kissed, she'd feel sparks. As would he of course. You could say they were actually in love.

They loved each other for real and it was going to stay that way because they knew it.

Natsume on the other hand, couldn't stand it. Yes, he learned that she went to the hospital for cutting herself and he somewhat knew it was his fault, he just didn't want to admit it like the bastard he was.

Then when he heard she got discharged, he noticed that she was with Kei. As months went by, he first noticed how when they passed in the halls, it would seem as she would cry, but she didn't because Kei was there whispering in her ear. Then as months gradually passed more, he noticed Mikan smiled freely and happily even when they passed. Just like she had when she loved him.

Then at night, he would lay, thinking about her and her smiles. He missed them. Yes, he did push her away but…she was annoying. He bet once they broke up, she would go straight to him. But there was a problem. They never did broke up. I mean occasionally they would have fights but then somehow they would end up together again.

He hated it. How could he be so blind? How could he let someone like her slip through like putty. She was always there for him but he never noticed. Was he always this fool? Of course he knew the answer to that though.

He was.

And now he couldn't get her back, because now she would pass by him cheerfully, hand in hand with someone else and he could only feel worse that he could've had her if he weren't so blind.

"Oh well Hyuuga, your chance passed and now you can't have back one person you once gave a way. What an idiot you are," Hotaru said lowly as she passed.

Yes, what an idiot he was.

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><p><strong><span>PLEASE READ! SPECIAL ONETWO-SHOT OPPORTUNITY DEDICATED TO YOU AND ONLY YOU!  
><strong>

**Hey you guys!**

**I know I haven't updated in a while.**

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